Monday, November 9, 2015

Getting older and hormones

I blogged a bit about hormones last month.  I thought I would talk a bit about my 2015 in case anything I am going through helps anyone out there.
This year started off with me getting my thyroid checked. I was so tired beyond belief and just didn't feel great.  I had a respiratory infection the month before so My mother is always on me about that and when I just couldn't seem to stay awake among all of the other stuff, I figured I should check it out. My thyroid ended up being completely fine as well as everything else checked.  So I moved on to seeing my GYN because of the basically continuous monthly visitor and seeing if that could be it. YES, I know TMI.  I guess I should rewind a little and say that the previous few years had me trying pill after pill to find something to get things under control. I have endometriosis, I had irregular periods, I have migraines, I get horrible cystic acne, I had the most miserable time with my periods - something has to get it all under control so I can function.

Because we live in a world where we don't fix the cause, we fix the effect it was suggested that I try going on the pill again.  I have probably taken every birth control pill ever made to try and help my issues in my menstruating career.  At that time (this is in February) my cycle seemed to be every few weeks, I just couldn't take it and wanted it to stop.  So I had the ablation procedure done. Let me tell you, that appointment before the procedure where they stick the filled balloon up there is not pleasant.  Then if there is a polyp they need to check out - holy crap. I did that leg of the procedure on St. Patrick's Day. That's when you know you are an adult. When you are chugging water for a clear ultrasound instead of chugging green beer. Oh how I wished it was a green beer sort of day.  I was not prepared for that pain.

When I got the ablation procedure done (on Good Friday because apparently I have to do this stuff on holidays), I had developed a cough because of a sinus thing and that made that recovery MISERABLE.  Being sore and constantly coughing does not help with recovery so keep that in mind.  I will tell you that I wished I had that procedure done years ago.  My period was gone and so were most of my cramps.  I didn't even have a migraine for a few months.  It was like magic.  I still had crankiness, bloat, some cramps (stabbing in the ovary area), some brain fog, etc.  It seemed like I was still on this every few week cycle and the feelings progressively got worse and the migraines were back and the cystic acne seemed like it was never healing in between break outs.

In September I went in to see my Primary because I woke up to having my face swollen. It was totally a Sloth from the Goonies moment.  I assumed it was some sort of allergic reaction but since I didn't eat anything different or do anything differently I didn't know what to do and two mornings I woke up like that so I was afraid to see what I would look up the third morning.  I told the nurse and him all about my hormonal issues and asked if there was a way if that was connected.  The Dr basically said my body could not handle my seasonal allergies and I was to take three different medicines to take care of it and was suggested that I get some acne face wash.  This basically was another instance of treating the effect instead of the cause.  Did you know that your hormones can effect your allergies?

I decided to then make an appointment with my GYN again because it just felt like my body was so out of control.  I printed out a year calendar and I went through all of my texts, emails, and chats and searched for words where I crabbed about how I was feeling.  Once I mapped them all out and could see that I was almost exactly on a two week cycle where I had a good week and then a bad week it really clicked. I kept saying I was on a two week cycle but I just was saying it as a generalization rather than that being exactly the case.  I am at the doorstep of the age where "the change" could start happening.  I have always had issues but MAN this has been the worst.  Could this be it?  I mean I was moody, cranky, crabby, tired beyond belief, crying all the time over nothing, migraines, bloated, hot flashes that were just ridiculous...could it be?

Finally I had my appointment.  Got out my chart and talked with my GYN.  Of course the pill was brought up again and after I started crying (because hormones) she then said there was something else she could suggest but it depended on how "out there" I wanted to go.  "Out there?" What does that even mean?  I said "LET'S DO IT" because I had to do something else.  Try something else.

Yeah, she gave me the number to a compound pharmacist who will mix up something especially for me based on my symptoms, test results, age, and etc.  Not pre-packaged pills to try for three months and then when they don't work switch to something else but something made just for me for my hormone levels.  Bio-Identical Hormone Therapy. WHAT?  Why couldn't I be pushed to this before? I have been going to this GYN for  like  30 years.  They know my history.  It is obvious things weren't quite right. Why are we in this world where it is just "here, take this" to cover the problem rather than fix it?

I made the appointment and met with the pharmacist the next week.  It was a 90 minute appointment where he went over everything.  He questioned me on all of my symptoms.  Everything I was feeling he asked about.  This is his specialty and he knows what he is doing.  I even said at one point that I just feel so crazy and he tells me "People are born crazy, you just have some hormones out of order" I totally wanted to hug that man.  That day I went home with my saliva test kit feeling so much better about everything even though I cried all the way home.  I was to do my testing a few days before I would feel the worst.  If I had periods it would be so much easier to predict when that day was.

I don't understand why this is considered "out there" and why it is a last resort instead of "let's get your hormones in order!"   I guess this is all because of the big business of insurance and pharmaceutical companies.
Here is the area that is effected by my hormones - oh wait, that is Wednesday's weather.
So that next week I did my testing throughout the day and shipped that test kit off.  That's where I am at right now.  Just waiting on the results to get back to the pharmacist and a plan to worked out for me.  In the meantime last week was my good week, this morning my cystic acne made my face look like the surface of the moon and this evening I started crying for no reason.  Tomorrow at work I will struggle with turning thoughts into words and will probably sweat to death and want to jump in the river all while trying to act and appear normal.

Hopefully soon I will get to blog about the results and what happens next.  I have mixed feelings - part of me hopes that everything is corrected and I feel better than I ever have in my entire life, but then there is the part that will be so sad of all the time wasted for no reason.  All of the sick days, all of the sleeping, all of the being depressed and frustrated over not feeling well....sigh.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Purple Hair

I know what you are thinking - "What? Another post?  This chick already posted as many times this month as she did in all of 2014!"

I wasn't planning on posting but Facebook showed me my memories "on this day" and it brought up this picture.
Halloween 2011 - Turanga Leela 

It got me thinking of so many things. It is funny that I didn't realize that six months prior to having my hair colored purple for real, I kind of did a dry run.  That was a lot of purple spray and I had to use two colors to get it just the right shade.  Oh man did I ever make a mess of my bedding when I crashed at the end of the night.

I have been getting purple put into my hair since April 2012.  I would get compliments daily.  At first it was so weird.  The wasband never said anything about it. Like it didn't exist. He seemed surprised when people would compliment me.

I get asked if purple is my favorite color.  It isn't. Green is my favorite but I know it would fade into the most disgusting color imagined and the upkeep would make me insane.  "So then why?" is generally the next question.



It wasn't until after a therapy appointment last year that I realized why.  Not at the appointment but after, someone complimented me in the store and whatever we talked about in therapy made it click.  I was seeking attention.  I couldn't fully see it at the time but my then husband had checked out.  I didn't exist (I mean how could I?  How could he see me and do what he did like it was no big deal?).  That was about six months before I kicked him out. I changed my hair and bought new clothes.  I never did that. Looking back I was yelling "LOOK AT ME!!!" with the change in hair and clothes. I guess I sensed how he distanced himself from me but I was too close to the situation to actually SEE it. Shoot, this blog started at about the same time.  I guess that was a yell for "LISTEN TO ME!!!" as well.  Dang.

It made me realize that when I see people changing things up that there might be something else going on that they don't even realize.

Now it is three and a half years later and I am still getting the purple.  There was a point where I wondered if I should still do it, but then my son started kindergarten and seeing how easy it was for his teachers to pick me out of a crowd it made me keep it.  While writing this post I even questioned - I mean, is there a point where I am just too old?   So I sent a text to ask the boyfriend this morning.
It stays then.  He digs me just as I am.  I guess I am really only keeping it until my hair falls out, my awesome friend decides she doesn't want to do hair anymore, or maybe when my son becomes a teenager and says that I embarrass him.  For today though, the motto is do what you want with what you have.  

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Easy Halloween drink

Adult Halloween Party = Booze

That's just how it is.  After the difficulties involved with the previous year's boozy bestowal I needed something EASY.  

So in 2014 the theme of the party was Disney and I was Snow something involving Apples was in order.

This is dangerous as it is delicious and doesn't taste boozy.

1 Part Vodka
1 Part Apple Cider
2 Parts Butterscotch Schnapps 

The liquid in the container just looked like it needed I took several apples and carved little creepy faces on them.  Then stuck them in the oven for a bit.  Doing this kind of shrivels them up a bit to make them all the creepier for floating around in your drink!  Can you see them in that top picture?  It cannot get easier than this!

Have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Goals, Hormones, and Thanks

This originally was going to be a post on Facebook to my friends and in doing so would be the longest Facebook post ever.  I don't even know if all of the text would show up because maybe I was writing too much or even if the post would show up at all if I used certain words.  Facebook hides those posts.  

So I am going to paste in purple what my post was going to be on Facebook.  Typed by my thumbs on my phone (no wonder I have that tendinitis problem)

"I had to go back to the top of this post and say that I apologize for how long this post is and also thankful it is online and you can't see me crying when I talk about E4 being a miracle. I am a hormonal mess. A serious hormonal mess. This entire year has been the worst. I was thinking this was going to be my good week but maybe not.  I really regret that I don't get to post as much on Facebook as I used to and that my blog took a little vacation (shoot, this is so long I should probably be a blog post) Time management has not always been my friend, also I don't think I was good at hiding my insanity at times the last three years. 
Anyhow, what my long post is about is goals and I was wondering if you guys set them for yourselves and family -- you know, like jobs, vacations, dream home, objects,  etc? Do you write them out and reward yourself? It is the last week of the month so along with trying to come up with an easy craft for E4's Halloween party at school on Friday and imagining how I am going to make a big Christmas tree the most gorgeous thing you will ever lay your eyes upon when I stay late at work one night,  I am thinking of my goals I still have to meet for the month so I can be on track. 
I didn't really think about goals or the fact that I could make them happen myself until the last several years when I took a chance on a new direct sales company and start a business. It is pretty amazing.  Seriously, I am making things happen. Me. Myself. Holy cow. 
This is where my hormones have me crying today. I have my big goal of taking E4 on a Disney land and sea trip next year. That is HUGE and I still cannot believe I am doing it. My family and close friends know that I never planned on being a mom. It was not in my cards with endometriosis, cysts, and hormone issues basically since puberty. E4 was this complete surprise that happened in this tiny window that was opened when I had the endometriosis scraped because I could not take the pain anymore. E4 was the surprise souvenir from a Disney land and sea trip. He was the child that I never knew I wanted and what I live my every day for.  I have been dealing with all sorts of female issues this year and really this last month is when I am realizing what a miracle he really is. I am crying as I write this. I joked so many times saying it was "pixie dust" or "Disney Magic"  and even wrote a blog post about it - but man, it really was a tiny window for that souvenir to happen so it was something. 
I am going to be trying hormone replacement therapy in the near future. I am hoping this will be excellent for me and I hope that I will be wishing this was an option that was brought to me a long time ago. I am guessing you have to reach a magical age before it is even considered.  Also I have to say I am sorry to my boyfriend who has caught me at the worst six months of hormone craziness that I have ever experienced."

Yeah, I didn't even finish typing out what all I wanted to say in that post.  Hormones have me being super wordy and crying all over the place -and yes, I mentioned a boyfriend (there will be a post about that in the near future and I guess a future post about hormone replacement and how that is working out).  I really thought this would be my good week. I have been on what seems like a 14 day cycle all of this year.  The ablation procedure that I had earlier in the year really was kind of a band aid to make a few major side effects go away.  It really did not fix my problem.

So currently my goals are that Disney Vacation and getting my hormones in order.

Really I could have basically said thank you to my friends and family on Facebook for supporting and sharing my business endeavor.  I want to say to all of you out there reading this, thank you as well.  Just know that you do make a difference.  You really do make a person's dreams come true when you support small businesses (yeah, I know I wrote a post about direct sales last week).  My dreams of Disney and hormone normalcy will be made into reality because of what I do.


Sunday, October 25, 2015

Dollar Store Athena

Every year I attend my good friend's Halloween party and the last few we have done themes.  This year's theme is Grease.  You know - Danny, Sandy, the hand jive, pink ladies, etc...

Well--I just had to be a little different, so I am doing Greece. I just needed to pick out my goddess and I chose Athena.  While I am not feeling full of wisdom I feel like I have a good handle on the courage, inspiration, justice, strength, arts, and crafts. Hehee.

I checked out the store bought costumes and I just wasn't finding one that grabbed me.  Well, I did but it was $70 and that just is not what I am feeling for a costume to wear for a few hours.

So now to hit the dollar store for inspiration to make a costume that would be CHEAP and EASY.  I ended up with a helmet, broom, and some armor that I did not end up using in the end (I was thinking I would cut it and use at the top of my costume top).   Then I hit a discount store to pick up some men's t-shirts and gold duct tape.

First- dismantle that broom!  This broom for $1 will be both the "horse hair" on my helmet and my spear!
 Cut a hole in that $1 helmet and get that piece from the broom taped on.  Wrap it all with that gold duct tape.  Wrap that broom handle with the duct tape also (and you can use some of that plastic piece from the broom to make a point on your spear).
TADAAAA!  For $2 and some of that gold duct tape, you have your accessories. 

Now for the "gown."  I picked up a 4 pack of men's t-shirts for $10.  I used two for my gown.  I did not take photos of me cutting these.  This part of the costume process happened right before bed and it was one of those "let's just get this finished" moments.  There really is no wrong way to do this.  Just take scissors and rip however you want your "gown" to look.  I took the sleeve off one side at the top, and cut slits in the other sleeve.  I removed the collar and the bottom hem (I did that also to the one that would be my skirt). I put the gold duct tape at the shoulders and neckline and my skirt just tied on.  Check out the finished costume photo at the bottom.
 I used the fabric from the bottom hem and wrapped in duct tape so I could make my belt. 
 I used some scrap fabric to tie my shirt in the back to make it a little fitted.  
There was very little waste on this costume project and I wore my boots from this old boot makeover.
Here I am with my date. 

This costume was under $10 for the hat, broom, duct tape, and the two shirts. 
It did not take much time at all and involved zero sewing.  
Duct tape is magic.
If you do this right, you can actually screw your spear back into the broom to help sweep up at the end of the night.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015


There are so many misconceptions about direct sales.  Sure there are some shady ones out there but there are even more REAL companies with REAL products where you can earn REAL income.

Let's get that "pyramid scheme" thing out of the way right now (because I know you were thinking it).  A pyramid scheme is one where everyone earns off of a pile of people below them and that dude at the bottom gets nothing. There are no real products, no real investment, they are often illegal, and no one wins except that guy at the top (which is usually the creator of the scheme).

Now back to Direct Sales.  These are businesses of real products sold to you by real people in your community. Are these products where you can find something similar in a store?  Maybe - but what if instead of going to that big box store and buying something where you benefit the owner of that big box store (that is probably on the list of the wealthiest people in the US sitting on his golden throne) where no extra money from your purchase goes to your acquaintance that works in that store - you would purchase from someone in your community where that person directly works with you on getting the products you want where the products sometimes have a lifetime warranty (I'm looking at you Tupperware).  You are directly benefiting that person and his/her family with your purchase.  You are the reason they did not claim bankruptcy, you are the reason their kids have dance class or sports, you are the reason they got a vacation this year.  Doesn't that get you warm and fuzzy?

Why am I talking about Direct Sales today?  Today is my 2 year anniversary with Jewelscent.  I knew it was my anniversary month and good old Facebook reminded me that today was the day!

This is my first and only direct sales experience and I am so glad that I took the jump.  Those of you that follow my blog can do the math and see that I joined while going through my divorce. This was the perfect thing for me. I got to focus on something else besides dwelling in the unpleasant. I love burning candles and fancy soaps so this was a perfect fit for me.

Direct Sales is really a community of help and support.  Everyone is (even with other companies) supportive. Everyone wants everyone to do well. It is a family. It is just what I needed and I thrived. I was able to work my business while my child was asleep or at school and it earned me extra income.  I didn't have to go back to working 40 hour weeks and worry about childcare. 

I do want to state that direct sales are not for everyone.  I am sure like me, you know several people that seem to jump from one business to the next and must think that there couldn't possibly be earning potential - well, sometimes you have to find the product that fits.  When you see someone that is successful at their business, it isn't because it is an easy one to join and sell.  To be successful you have to put the work in.  You have to use and love the products.  This is a job like any other that you have to work every single day.  

We have this huge SHOP LOCAL movement that gets advertised this time of year in time for the holidays.  How much more local can you get than purchasing from your Aunt or Cousin that sells such and such?

This holiday season, think about shopping direct sales.  Find a vendor event and check out what we have to offer - or even check out what is out there if you think you would love to earn some extra income or fun money. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I have worms

Goodness.  I started this post TWO years ago (yes, in 2013) as a tutorial to help warn against committing a pinterest fail, but I never finished the post. As it is October, pictures of this are floating all around Facebook and Pinterest and I feel it is my duty to located all of the photos and complete this post!

Alcohol Jello Worms

So with the Halloween parties that I went to I thought it would be fun to bring something and there it was.  The most disgusting thing ever. Someone shared the instructables link showing a bowl of gross looking worms that were edible. Perfect! That's what I will make!

There are tons of tutorials and recipes out there. I did not write out my exact recipe but as you can see, you really should not go by mine. hahaa!

My recipe used Jagermeister, cherry jello, and Sierra Mist.  Since I used the Jager, I did not have to put the drops of green food coloring in to darken the worms. I had tried a tip on using powdered creamer rather than whipping cream for the cloudiness.  You can see it really didn't work either.

But anyway...What a disgustingly perfect treat to bring to a Halloween Party! 

In my head I pictured this to be so awesome and easy to do...yea, some of it is.

The pouring the mixture into the the straws to set up, that is the easy part.  Just get something tall to hold a bunch of straws and add a rubber band to hold them together. You may have to add weight to the top to keep the straws from floating up. Then you just stick in the fridge.

Next comes the frustrating part.  Getting the worms out of the straws. Hmm, how do you get them out?  Well, you have to squeeze them out.  Each freaking straw has to be squeezed and the worms placed on wax paper in the fridge for a few more hours to set up.  I did not find an easy way to squeeze them out.  I tried the rolling pin method which really just smashed them. That was after I learned that just squeezing was pretty impossible.  In the end I ended up running warm water over the straws to then squeeze out.  This is why you have to stick them back in the fridge to reset them, otherwise they will all stick together.

Your hands get cold and slimy from this step. So much so that you kind of lose control and those worms will go flying.  
Yep, even over onto the floor.

 Then if you are sampling and drinking as you do this and one comes out looking like an S and then next like a U then there is no choice but to try and spell out your frustration.

I was putting my Jello Worms into a large glass jar so they looked like specimens. I printed out a note card with the specimen number being the date I was bringing them, and then filled out the rest. I burned and stained the note card and then used plain old Elmer's glue to stick on.   I took chocolate graham crackers and ground those up to put in the bottom to look like dirt.

They were fun, but not as many people ate them to make it worth the trouble. My advice, just go for something easy to take.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

WTF (Weekly Terrible Film) - Galaxy of Terror

I have been going through and cleaning up my blog.  Deleting unpublished posts that make zero sense.  Then I find this WTF film review from two years ago that I didn't post.  Yes, TWO YEARS AGO. Why didn't I post this?  Oh, it is because it really was a terrible movie.  Like terrible for my standards.  I figure I should post it though, I could save someone from wasting time!

Galaxy of Terror (1981)

It should really be called "Galaxy of Terrible" -  For REALS.

I was seriously going to turn it off and I have watched some pretty crappy movies.

I think this was so terrible that I didn't really pay 100% attention.  So what I got out of it was that they were in space and they got to a planet and started exploring.  Then they started dying one at a time by their worst nightmare.  Yeah, one chick gets raped by a giant alien worm thing.  Clothes ripped off and everything if you are into "alien rape."

Notable stars...

Robert Englund.  Yes.  Before he was Freddy Krueger terrorizing people in their dreams, he was in this movie where people were killed by their nightmares.

Sid Haig - has he been in anything where he wasn't a bad guy or scary?

Ray Walston - he is that "oh, that guy" that is been in tons of stuff and looks familiar.

Bottom line, the movie is meh. If it is on and there is absolutely nothing else on and the remote is broken and you are glued to the couch then go ahead and watch it.

Monday, September 7, 2015

My brief time with online dating

My thoughts were that I should try online dating because if I always hang out with the same people and do the same things then how would I meet someone out of my circle?  I wouldn't ever meet anyone new if I didn't venture out somehow.

I consulted with a friend of mine that had some experience with several of the popular dating sites.  He told me NOT to use Plenty of Fish because it was free and full of garbage. Well, I didn't listen. I looked on that one as well as the others. I didn't plunk down any money on any of the sites and in poking around, I found that some of the same people on the paid sites were using POF where you can contact people for free.  Seems like the strategy for all of us cheap single people is set up profiles on other sites the same so people can contact you for free on the POF.

In browsing to see what was out there for me, I noticed so many had OLD pictures.  Photos with dates on them that were 5-10 years old.  I get it, we all love to reminisce and think about when we were younger and looked great...but what do you think is going to happen on that first date when she is still looking for her date to show up and what looks like that dude's older brother is standing in front of her?

Not only were there old photos to sift through...but then there were things like the following

Yep, this guy that wants a relationship has TWO photos of BBQ grills among his profile pictures.  Better choice would be to write in the profile "I really enjoy cooking and would love to cook for you"

This guy is proud of his bathroom.  Does there need to be a photo in his profile pictures? NOPE.  Why not write in the profile that you are neat and tidy?

There are lots like this guy also.  A guy that most likely has a camera on his phone but would rather take a photo and take the time to use some editing program to make sure that you know these are friends. 

How about some bad photoshop?

Then there are the large number of people that have certain words in their name.  
The most popular are LOVE, BIG, and GOOD.

That guy up there is proud of that weird mullet thing.

I found that I was just not good at online dating. Really not good at it. My profile was straight up honest. Brutally honest. I figured it would cut out people that were too serious as it just wouldn't work.  In doing that I received a lot of "your funny" type messages.  Yeah "YOUR"  That is a HUGE pet peeve for me. Not knowing the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.  I started correcting grammar in those messages and responding with "I'm funny what?" and then explaining to them what they meant to say and that they were old enough to know better.  As you can imagine, I did not get many that responded back to me. I also would message people and tell them what photos were their best for their profile or comment on their stories. 

I lasted about a week with having an online profile and browsing. 

Saturday, August 15, 2015

It has been a while!

I swear I did not intentionally abandon this blog.  Just a little hiatus. It has been over a year since I have logged into this to blog.  The two drafts sitting at the top were kind of like a time capsule.  This one from almost exactly one year ago.

"My last few weeks have had some difficulties...I will just tell you about my life starting yesterday after I got off work...

Under my sink was still leaking
When I went to put the laundry into the dryer, I was greeted by a load of towels that smelled of death as they had been sitting in there not completely dry for a few days
When my child came home from his time with his father I was greeted with a "your child will only get peanut butter sandwiches until the balance is in the positive" - this had me annoyed since I put $100 on this account ten days ago and I knew I would have to talk to multiple people that would all say "this is a new system and we don't know what we are doing"  

After trying to pull the load of laundry from the dryer to put the next load in is when I discovered the stinky towel load was not because I forgot to dry it, it was because the dryer forgot to do its only job and had to be repaired.  When it rains, it pours, and then starts a landslide"

So much has changed in this last year. Well, as for the above my dryer did get fixed and so did my sink and the system with the school...but also my divorce did finally become final.  I survived my child going to kindergarten which meant surviving a year of co-parenting while the other parent has his weekends during the week. I survived yet another holiday season in retail.  I got to go to California for the first Leadership Conference with Jewelscent (and we did a day at Disneyland!).  I have done projects which I will have to do posts/tutorials on.  I have watched horrible movies so I must throw in a :W.T.F. (Weekly Terrible Film)" review here and there.

I think next time I will have to blog about "Online dating as a divorced mom"