brain blobs and verbal vomit

(you can find all kinds of stickers at Big Cat Sticker Shack)

I have said before my drug of choice is alcohol so I do not understand this whole "bath salts" thing.  I used to work at a Police Department and seen more than my share of manufactured drugs and their effects on people.  I am sure you have seen the videos on youtube where you can see the mugshot progression of addicts...I just don't get it.

My friend got onto me last night because I hadn't jumped all over the "Miami Zombie Attack" Story.  Well, I hadn't heard about it...or when I did I guess it wasn't called a zombie attack.

I watch the local news in the morning only.  It is full of shenanigans and other antics.  Alright, I will say it; "FOX 2 NEWS IN THE MORNING SUCKS!!!!" ---but, as I have said on numerous occasions, I am drawn to horrible movies so I guess horrible news is another thing I love to hate to watch?  Although, if you want the real news that isn't STL related, they do provide a ticker at the bottom of the screen that you can read.  Seriously, yesterday was all about making s'mores inside of ice cream cones on the grill while the real news was just words scrolling at the bottom of the screen. Well, since I have a toddler and he wants breakfast or an elaborate train track design...usually the news is for listening and not for reading so I miss out on the real stuff unless I search for it.

I do think that I had read a blurb about the attack but at the time they were calling it "a cannibalistic attack in Florida."

Here is the thread from FB that I copied earlier this morning.  Wait, Did you want to read it?  Whatever. You know you are curious.  I already blocked out the names so I may as well stick it on here.  I am the green.

Anyway, after that post on my wall I had a duty to make my friend happy.  So the, I googled the story.  Seriously this is some crazy shit.  This could be a story line for a game.  Umbrella Corporation was mentioned in the thread...could the "bath salts" be the T-virus?  I wont link the story of the incident but really it does sound made up like for T.V. or movies.  This incident happened in Miami, we should have gotten  Horatio and Dexter on the case.

Like I said, I wont link the story but I guess there needs to be some sort of break down. Guy A was naked and acting crazy.  He then attacks homeless guy, B who was minding his own business sleeping.  A removes part of B's clothing and then starts eating the flesh off of his skull.  A ate 75% of the flesh off of B's skull.  Police came and A was shot and killed.  B is in the hospital.

Most of the stories about this incident call it a "Zombie Attack" and say that guy A was high on bath salts.  This is an assumption because it will be weeks before the toxicology report is back.

Let's talk about the "bath salts" thing anyway.  This isn't the stuff you received in a fancy spa gift basket for you to pour in the tub and soak in.  This is a powdery chemical that some basement chemist put together to go up your nose.

If you want to be all scientific about it, you could call it Methylenedioxypyrovalerone. No wonder they just started calling it bath salts.  Can you imagine a junkie asking for that?

These "bath salts" are a man-made drug.  This is something that I have never understood --taking drugs that someone else has made where you have NO CLUE AT ALL what is in it.  The person who is making this stuff is doing it to make money.  They do not care about you or the effects of the crap they are making.  They don't care what is cut into it so that the product is stretched out further.  Since it is illegal, there is no one regulating the production.  So why on earth take the risk?  I don't understand how people can be that desperate.  Why? Because you don't necessarily have to buy it from that shady guy in the alley.  You can buy this stuff online and one of the leading sellers even put the stuff on discount right after the tragedy in Miami occurred.

The bath salts are created from chemicals derived from the Khat plant which was thought to be a "divine food" by the ancient Egyptians.  There is nothing divine about being so messed up that you have no control over the fact that you are eating the face off of another human being.

You know you were just itching for more facts...

This drug is specifically banned in Missouri and is listed along with a zillion other drugs, derivatives, and chemicals under RSMO 195.017

A few of the desired results of taking this drug are:

• mental stimulation
• increased alertness
• euphoria
• increased arousal
• sexual stimulation

All of that sounds just great...but here is a nice list of what else you have to look forward to
increased body temperature

• nausea
• insomnia
• hypertension
• headache
• dizziness
• severe paranoia
• confusion 
• over-stimulation
• breathing difficulties
• psychotic delusions
• extreme agitation
• violent behavior
• suicidal thoughts/actions

Oh, but it doesn't stop there.  If you survive your high, your psychiatric symptoms could still go on and on...and then you can look forward to renal failure, seizures, and liver failure.

YAY!  Was your high worth that?

Maybe this horrific event can be used for an anti-bath salt campaign.  Maybe the logo could be a zombie in a bathtub with the red circle and line through it.  Is that too much?

For those of you that see YOLO tweeted and shouted everywhere...it is not excitement of low-fat yogurt.

No.  The kids now a days have just now realized that YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE and they are shouting it from the rooftops like they have just made some new discovery.  I guess the Twilight vampire eternal life thing has been forgotten for now?

Guess what kiddies, Carpe Diem (Seize the day) was in a poem in 23 B.C....that is over 2000 years before you discovered it on Twitter and Facebook.

You should always live like you will only live once because you do only live once unless you are:

1. A Zombie - yeah, you knew I would put it on the list
2. Jesus - the story says he will be back (which reminds me for #3)
3. The Terminator - he did say "I'll be back" - but that was more a robot time travel thing...
4. Reincarnated - lots of religions and cultures believe in this so maybe it could happen but who knows what you would be.  If you came back as a fly, you would probably regret not doing some things.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

I need to work on this.  If I would have died today, I would have really been pissed about the stuff that I didn't do yesterday when I had a lazy afternoon.

It is Memorial Weekend!  What does it mean to you?

Like I mentioned above, I got to see the original plaster casting which resides in Harlingen, TX at the Marine Military Academy.

This plaster casting was in storage for a number of years before the Artist decided to find it a home.  Several factors went into his choice to gift the statue to the Marine Military Academy in 1981

• The pretty constant temperature helps with preserving the statue (but they do have to repaint every four years give or take depending on hurricane season)
• The street facing the Memorial had been named Iwo Jima Boulevard by the Academy founders in 1965
• Oh, and one of the men in the famous memorial (Corporal Block, the man in front pushing that flag into the ground) is a local and his grave is there on the property.

Why is there so much fuss about same-sex marriages?  Oh, I know.  Fear.   Fear is the answer.  Fear of the strange.  Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future.  Fear of the Bible saying that "God made man in his own image" might mean that there is a flaw in the words of the Lord.  Fear makes people crazy.  People act all wacky when they are afraid.  Fear of the long term effects on everything from the down economy to same- sex marriages.  

What is the fear?  Fear that homosexuals are going to have more successful marriages than us non-homosexuals?   Fear of the long term effects if Jesus does make his return?  Fear that he will be pissed?  Fear that their weddings will be more fabulous? Who cares...although I want to be invited to a big gay fabulous wedding.  Cant you see that as a reality show?  That would be fabulous.

Let me start off with a the beginning of the Declaration of Independence.
     "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

Some of the most beautiful sentences ever written.   It is pretty simple.  Back in 1776 it was felt that everyone was equal and allowed the right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.  Of course not all citizens were thought to be equal and even today it is a fight for that equality and the pursuit of happiness.
I was able to watch it today.  It is appalling.  A Pastor in a church preaching to his congregation and suggesting that all homosexuals be rounded up and put behind electric fences to kill them off.  Seriously.  This happened just last week in a church that is in one of the 13 original colonies that were part of those beautiful sentences above.

Did your jaw hit the floor?  Can you believe it?  A Pastor that is supposed to be preaching about LOVE and how the Lord loves everyone.  This Pastor is in North Carolina right here in the USA.  He is preaching genocide.  We have our own Hitler. Fantastic!   Now like I said in the caveat, I am not without faults.  I did just recently have a blog post about the idiots in the world.  I didn't say round them up and kill them....I just suggested that we have made it too easy in this country so survival of the fittest is no longer a thing if you live in the United States....damn, I just remembered the movie Idiocracy.  That should have been in that post.  Maybe a future WTF post.... 

Of course the church has now said that this was all taken out of context.  I am not sure how his statements could have been taken out of context unless he said "Wouldn't the world be a horrible place if someone gave a sermon like this: ....." and then the rest of what was in the video happened.  I am pretty sure that wasn't the case.  

He was fired up because Obama publicly announced that he supports gay marriage.  
     ---I am butting in with random opinion here. Gay marriage just sounds dumb.  Marriage is      marriage. Do we put the word gay in front of everything that someone who bats for the other team does?  No.  That would be ridiculous...gay drive to the store for some gay shopping so that there are groceries for the gay dinner.  IT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS!  Okay, back to original rant.---
He is fired up because he feels that two men or two women getting married is wrong.  Why?  Because it says in his Bible.   

The first Amendment says that you can feel free to have whatever religious beliefs you want and the government can't take that away from you.  It also gives freedom of speech so the Pastor from the above video can spout out freely what he has interpreted from his religion to be right.

You can shout "Separation of Church and State" but it isn't that simple.  They have been intermingled from the beginning.  God is on our money.  God is in the Pledge of Allegiance.  God makes an appearance in the 4th verse of our National Anthem.  God is the first word in "God Bless America" which is sung during America's favorite past time (baseball).  God is even in those beautiful sentences above as the "Creator."  Everyone in any sort of official office brings their beliefs and morals with them that will reflect on how they conduct themselves.  So yeah, it is easy to see how this Pastor could be fired up about the President supporting marriage for same-sex couples.  God is in so many things in this Nation but he feels homosexuality is not in his Bible.

The problem is the interpretation of a book of stories/rules/lessons that is over 3500 years old.  There are lots of people that have interpreted what suits the morals they want taught from the Bible and preach that out.  The world was a much different place then.  They don't rewrite the Bible as the world changes like we do for outdated laws...after all, if laws weren't ever changed I probably wouldn't be allowed to write this blog being a woman and all.  Not only would I not have the rights to my opinion, but I most certainly wouldn't be able to put them out here for people to read.

Let's look at a little story in 1 Samuel 18:1-4.  
Shit. That looks like marriage to me. A union between two men even. That is how I am interpreting it.  Same-sex marriage right there in the Bible.  I am not sure how that could be interpreted as any different, but you know it has been explained away as just being close friends. 

I was in the mood to watch two movies that I own -I am not embarrassed to say this.  In fact, I will shout it!

Shopping one day I was in a store I noticed a teenage mom pushing her baby in a stroller. Sure I didn't check her ID but she looked really young.  She was with two older ladies that I was assuming were her mother and grandmother--and before you say it, I know what happens when you assume--They appeared to be too old to have given birth to the baby and they weren't pushing the stroller.  Yes, I have stared at this family for too long.  Couldn't help it, they weren't very attractive and you know how people like to stare at train wrecks.  Nope.  I am not above it. I look at train wrecks.

Back to shopping. I am now in a different area of the store.  They had several clothing items throughout the store that were marked "buy one, get one 50% off."  I am happily looking through the clothes and thinking about how I like that some of the 80's style of clothing is back in style.  I am trying to picture in my head how the neon green zebra capris would look on me and then I think that the clothes remind me of LMFAO and I start laughing in my head at the thought of me wearing this and "I'm sexy and I know it" is playing in my head.  I am laughing because this can't possibly look good.

Then I hear it...

" Mom, how much is 50% off of $20.50?"

 ~SNAP~  -you could seriously hear my neck snap as I whipped my head in their direction. It was the teenage mother from the train wreck.

What? Seriously?  She can bring life into the world and cannot compute in her head what half off of $20.50 would be? It wasn't like it was some crazy big odd number.  $20.50.

WOW.  Is this a living picture of today's youth?  I have seen the websites that feature stupid things that teens post out there on the internet and I laugh.  I have a couple of favorite sites, Cheezburger and Parentfails.com.    I think looking at idiots makes me feel better about myself. Let me share a few images on the subject.

http://parenting.failblog.org/

http://parenting.failblog.org/

parentfails.com

Let me just say that seeing one of these idiots in person.  That makes it real and not funny at all.

What does she do when she mixes formula for that baby?   Sure there is a scoop that will get her perfect measurement that will coordinate with the lines on the bottle.  But what if there wasn't the scoop or the lines?  What if she had to THINK about stuff she was giving the baby? That poor kid.

She is too dumb to get a job.  She HAS to be.

Should I really judge her on just seeing she is a teenage mom and hearing her one dumb question?  Probably not, but I am going to anyway.  I am also going to assume that the baby's father is not that smart either (if he is even around).  If he were smart he would have used protection and made sure she was on the pill so they wouldn't be parents before they finished learning things in school so they weren't dumb.

This is where I am going to start bitching about how our society is ruined.  Things are made too easy.  You have a kid in high school and are not smart enough to get a job?  Great, take this assistance from the government.  Tax payers don't mind taking care of you and your child until you are 18.  We love it.  We work hard for our money and are happy to support you guys too.

Before you jump all over me, I am not against government assistance.  Not for those that really need it.  That single mother that works hard to provide a life for her and her kids and still doesn't have enough for food or clothes?  That person that has had a string of bad luck that will use that assistance to get back on their feet.   I am all for them getting the help they need.  There are many people out there in need and deserving of assistance.

There is just too much abuse of the system out there. Too many popping out kid after kid so the monthly checks are bigger.

We have lost a somehing making life better for us, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST/NATURAL SELECTION.

There are too many laws and loopholes protecting the idiots of the world.  The idiots that didn't understand when ordering a hot coffee that it would be in fact hot and could burn them.  These idiots found an idiot lawyer that got them a settlement.  Now that idiot has money and found a mate or two and reproduced more idiots. Then their idiot grand kids watch MTV and see the teen moms on there and think that if they were a teen mom they would be on TV, famous, and have money.

SIGH

Did you see the story last week about the man who is 33 and has 30 kids?  He wants a child support break. Here is the story from the Huffington Post.  This guy who makes minimum wage has found 11 different women to have multiple kids with.  All adults in this situation are idiots. I guess none of these women had conversations on their first date that involved questions like "So what do you do? Do you have any children?"...

There used to be a time where there wasn't assistance and people only had enough kids that they could afford to care for on their own.  Sure this guy has to pay child support but as the article shows, some of the women only get $1.49 a month.   $1.49 a month!  I guess all of those kids are eating ramen noodles.  Those mothers have to be getting other support.  I feel bad for these kids but isn't there something that could be done to prevent this?

My best friend had an idea decades ago about sterilization at birth.  Everyone was sterilized and after a certain age there would be a test where the process could be reversed.
   --maybe this test could just be some of my grammar pet peeves. Yes, I know my grammar and punctuation are not perfect but these really bug me and maybe that would cut out the riffraff.   If you can't use the correct form of these words, you are not allowed to reproduce.  THERE/THEIR/THEY'RE, YOUR/ YOU'RE, TO/TOO/TWO, THEN/THAN...
This idea of sterilization at birth seemed like a good idea then and it seems like a good idea now.  Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.  Sure it is like "playing God" and there already is too much government control on everything we do...the government already is in everyone's business about birth control, why not take this next step.  Wouldn't this intervention have been good in situations like these?  I am sure the man with 30 kids is not alone.  He is just an extreme.  I am positive there are people out there with a dozen kids and in the same situation.

So kids out there reading this...
Cap it before you tap it.
Cover your stump before you hump.
No glove,  no love.
Don't be silly, protect your willy.

I am stopping now.  There are a zillion condom slogans out there.  I guess the real problem is that the idiots wouldn't be reading this blog.  Not just because I don't have many readers, but because the idiots that are the problem are just simply idiots that will forever be idiots. They were raised as an idiot and will die an idiot after they have shacked up with one or multiple idiots and spawned off more idiots.  This is like a feral cat situation.  Which reminds me of something.  I will leave you with the sound advice from Bob Barker...

Oh, did that title get your attention?  Were you curious if this was a downstairs craft and there would be pictures? Sorry, it is not what you think...unless taking clippers to your cat was what you imagined.

Now that you are here you may as well read the rest of this.

I started singing a little song by Lords of Acid  while I was working on this post...so for your listening pleasure, I located it on youtube.  Here it is - with LOLcats!
We have three cats.  Two have long hair, one of these has the fine fuzzy kind.  The house is gross this time of year because of that one.  Spring/Summer she sheds a ridiculous amount and what isn't in little hair clumps all over everything might be in a gross hair ball that she has yacked up.

That might be one of the worst sounds to wake up to, listening to a cat puke.  First the being woke by that sound.  It is a hard sound to describe.  There is a sort of thumping sound along with a "cha" I guess. Then when you realize what you are hearing, you bolt upright because you are worried that the cat is in the bed with you.  Bleh.

If you were not awoken by the cat puking, you may have something worse to look forward to.  Stepping out of bed in the morning and onto a hairball that is still wet with whatever yuck was also in the cat's stomach.  BARF

Usually I shave this cat earlier in the year, but the weather has been weird and she didn't start really shedding until we were on vacation a few weeks ago.  The house was a disgusting mess when we came back.  We could have woven a sweater out of the loose cat hair that was around the house and made a little dreadlock wig. Teehee.  A little dreadlock wig.

The thought of that seriously made me giggle.  Catstafarian. I couldn't help myself.  I googled "cat with dreadlocks" and found some treasures.

from http://daisythecurlycat.blogspot.com/2008/09/fashion-friday-rasta-daisy.html

from http://www.examiner.com/article/does-kitty-have-dreadlock

They seem to get a little less eventful when you get older...or maybe they become less eventful when you have a toddler.  Or maybe it is less eventful because there is a toddler, we just had our wedding anniversary on the first day of the month and Sunday was Mother's Day.

Either way it just seems blah that it is my birthday.

I was reminded that I still need to get my driver's license renewed.  Oops, I totally forgot that it expired.

Why does driver's license talk remind me of this one?

I am dreading going to the DMV.  There is a part of me scared that my picture will be the worst one yet.  There is another part of me that is worried that the little sound/light test that they use to do is no longer done but is replaced with some other little test that I will fail and then I wont have a license.
Anyhow, I Googled "what can I wear for drivers license pictures"  I was curious if there were some rules.  Maybe if I wore something odd it would take away from the fact that my face decided to break out really bad. Unfortunately all I found was this guy in Austria who won the right to wear a pasta strainer on his head.  I guess it is required if you belong to The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  But I don't.  I just don't want a crappy picture.



I found this Ehow.com on "How to take a Good Driver's License Photo"...it is so goofy.  I think it is the way it is weirdly detailed.  Like step #1 with the clothing color suggestions.  Then it adds about wearing a high collar to hide any "unflattering neck conditions" - what does that mean?  Is that geared toward the youth and their hickeys?

Also I feel that I have failed #3  "If you color your hair, make sure you visit your colorist before your photo appointment"...This makes me imagine the DMV workers to be photographers at a fashion shoot.  I do need my roots done but they wont be noticeable in the picture, at least I don't think they will.

The rules all get more ridiculous from there and go into makeup, earring shape vs head shape, bringing your own mirror in case the bathroom isn't an option for "primping" before your turn, and what angle to hold your head back so that gravity will pull the skin and wrinkles away from your face.  Yeah, read the article for the full read on the steps.  I will probably be thinking of all of them while I am waiting in line.  I am either going to get the same crappy looking picture that I always get or something goofy since step #10 tells you to smile and #11 wants you to close your eyes before they take the pic so they are not closed or in mid-blink...too much pressure!

Yeah, I know -- FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

SIGH.

My file cabinet has been completely full for about a year.  When I say completely full, I mean that I could not stuff one more thing in there.

So today I decided to clean that thing out.  What I found was a good 17 years of crap.  Sure there were some things that I will still hold onto, but seriously I was holding onto some crap.

There were lots of things that made me laugh....like all of the wedding invitations from friends and family that I had saved.  Everyone was still married.  WAIT - Are they still married because I held onto the invitations?  Maybe.  Maybe I have power!  I also had saved several memorial programs from funerals and those people have not returned.  I have power.  I am saving marriages and the world from zombies!

It is just all coincidence I am sure.

I ran across loads of saved cards from multiple occasions.  One card in particular was AWESOME.  I am not sure what the occasion was or who gave it to me because at some point I had cut the inside off and discarded long ago.  I just had the front and it was a Velvet Elvis card. If only this were a huge painting!
Other useless items found in the file cabinet included:

• An apartment lease from 1999...I have lived 3 places since including the house I have owned for 6 years.
• Window stickers from when I purchased my car, my 2001 Ford Explorer that I bought in 2001!
• Old paycheck stubs...from every job ever.
• Bank statements from banks where I haven't had accounts for YEARS (actually some from a bank that hasn't been a bank for years).
• Boxes of old checks and carbon copies.  BOXES.  Like 8 boxes. 
• An advertisement for drinks called the "Warp Core" and the "Borg Sphere" from the Quark Bar that closed in 2008.  It was a Star Trek themed bar at the Las Vegas Hilton.  The drink was pretty cool so I can see why I saved that.  It had dry ice in it that bubbled...oh, and a zillion shots of rum.  Okay, so not quite a zillion...10 shots. GET WARPED!

I saved all of the necessary things but it still lead to LOTS OF SHREDDING.  Pretty much this was my entire afternoon/evening.  I was reminded that there seems to be no way to empty a paper shredder without making a mess. Ours has a safety feature so it shuts off when fingers are anywhere near it....so why can't it shut off before it is too full to empty?  SERIOUSLY WHY?  Why are there not sensors underneath?  You can keep shredding and shredding and then all of the sudden it stops.  At this point it is too late.  You can only open the bin a tiny bit and have to then try to fit your hand in to scoop out the shredded paper creating more of a mess in hopes of making more room to free more paper to get the bin out to dump the stupid thing.  ARG!   My toddler woke up from his nap after I had filled the shredder three times and already had a huge mess.  He came in to see what I was doing and said; "Uh oh."    Exactly kid.  UH OH.
Finally though I was finished shredding and re-filing papers.  What did I get out of this?  A recycling bin full of shredded paper, a file cabinet that has room to actually file things, and a small pile of papers that seem to not fit in either category.

The lesson to be learned from this...Don't be a paper hoarder and don't wait too long to clean out your file cabinet.

Medieval Times.

I wanted to go ever since I first learned it existed when watching the movie "The Cable Guy" --Remember when Jim Carey was the shit?  That ages me I know...but really, what happened to him?  Was he only good on short skits like on "In Living Color" and we just didn't realize it until dozens of films later?

Anyway, back to Medieval Times....Living in the St. Louis area, we didn't have such a place so I didn't think it was someplace I would ever go.

Guess what.  There is one near my mother-in-law's house!  It has been bugging me all of these years that we have never been every time we were up to visit.  It was never convenient since we were always trying to do so much in such a short time.  That big castle taunting me.  The husband has never been.  Ever.  There are lots of different kinds of geeks. He apparently is not the Medieval Times kind.  I on the other hand am a geek for all geeks.

Finally, Mother's Day weekend was my chance!  Mothers were free with a paid adult and our toddler could be a lap child.  How could the husband deny me on Mother's Day, especially with the savings?  So YAY!  Medieval Times for me!  Sure I wasn't 100% free because I made him do the special Mother's Day upgrade for $20.  It seemed like a good deal...mimosa in souvenir glass, sash that proclaimed I was the "Queen of Love and Beauty," flag to cheer for my knight, and cheesy photo of myself in a cardboard frame with a scroll  from the King stating I was the Queen for the day.  The drink in the glass and flag were about $20 so the rest was just bonus.

Really I can't see how people can afford this if they have a large family.  $60 per adult and $36 per child.  That is just for the general admission...then they try to hook you with upgrade packages and then all of the souvenirs?  Eek.  They parade them around in front of you while you are eating in hopes of bleeding more money out of you.

If you have never been, this is what happens.  You are given a crown with the color of your knight when you are given your table number.  Then you are funneled into the waiting area  (which can only be described as CHAOS) where there is a bar and lots of opportunity to buy souvenirs. This would be hell if our child was old enough to see all of the swords and whatnot.  Luckily our child was happy pointing out all of the crests and shields painted on the ceiling.  Finally after waiting in the crowded area something happens.  The trumpets start a fanfare and the King comes to the front to "knight" various people celebrating their birthdays (wonder how much extra that cost).  This is happening on the floor near the doors to the arena.  This is where you should be warned to not wait close to the door.  Naturally people are shoving to get a closer look and crowding to the front.  It really doesn't matter where you are in line because they call by the color of the crown you are wearing and you have your table number already.

Finally they are calling the colors and letting everyone go into the arena.    It is pretty organized once you get past the chaos of the waiting area.  The seats are stadium/theater style seats and there is enough room between you and the table for a lap child which was nice for us.  Really I think the room is for your belly to expand for all of the food. Seriously make sure you go hungry.  The menu was tomato soup, bread, half of a chicken, ribs, potato spears, and dessert pastry.  Just as there are no silverware, there are also no doggie bags...so when you look at you and your spouse's plate and see a whole chicken that gave their life for your meal, there is a little guilt if you don't eat it all.

The show starts up immediately and I will say it is a little hard to enjoy because of the "food wench" bringing you items and the staff parading the souvenirs in front of you.  There is the feeling of needing to eat quickly to enjoy the show.

Still with all that was going on, I couldn't help but wonder about these knights and knaves.  Especially since the husband made the joke about one of the knights being on the day shift at Kinko's.  So it made me wonder if this was this their dream job. Was this the only job they had? It seemed like a step up from working a Renaissance Faire but several steps down from working Disney. How well are they paid?  It would have to be better than minimum wage.  But really, they don't work every day so they have to get paid really good if that is their only job.  I kept looking around at all of the people at $60 per person and thinking about cost of horse upkeep, insurance, etc.  Yeah, my mind zips around with thoughts like this all of the time.

I enjoyed it....but, I think I would have had more fun without the toddler (sorry kid).  Having him be a lap child and trying to feed him with your hands.  Bleh.  Plus, you really cant have a bunch of drinks.  It just doesn't look right to booze it up with your child on your lap. Also he didn't want to take a nap during the day so toward the end he fell asleep.

Another downfall is once your hands are gross from eating with them (no silverware), you can't take pictures. The give you one napkin.  ONE NAPKIN.  Lucky for me I brought in baby wipes so I did get to take a few pictures of us.

Oh something to mention that is potentially dangerous --no.  Not the knights fighting with their swords, the plates and bowls are pewter!  Imagine a toddler banging and waving those around before the food is server.  Yeah, husband got hit in the temple with the pewter soup bowl before the meal was served and the show started up.

If you are thinking of going, I recommend signing up for their emails.  They will send you discount codes to use for ordering tickets.

I have an addiction...

I love to watch terrible movies.  Why?  I don't know the answer to that.  The movies make me groan.  They make me yell at the TV asking why oh why that happened.  Why when editing they thought that special effect looked real.?  How they came up with the title - The SYFY ones are the worst I think.  What do they do? Just pull words out of a hat? Seriously.  Alien Tornado? Stonehenge Apocalypse?  It is like throwing together the two items that the Wonder Twins turn into.  "Wonder Twins powers activate! Form of  Ice!  Form of Twister!"  and then we get Ice Twister.  Thanks SYFY!

I seem to watch at least one terrible movie on purpose every week.  I was thinking about doing a weekly review of a terrible movie - or maybe every other week, sure I watch crappy movies every week but do I want to write about it and make you suffer through it?  I guess in a way I could be saving you from something terrible.  Philosoraptor will ponder this point as well.

So what should I call this?

Shameful Sunday Cinema?
   Mundane Monday Movie?
      Terrible Tuesday Talkie?
         Weak Wednesday (what starts with a W for movies?) Humpday Cheese?
            Thursday Theater Trash?
               Foul Film Friday?
                  Sub-par Cine Saturday?
                     Crap of the week?

Make your choice.  I have a few nuggets in my queue that are going to be watched and reviewed soon....

I love almost all things zombie.  I say almost because when the zombie apocalypse happens, I know I will not love the zombie smell or living in the constant fear.  And yeah, I am aware I typed "when the zombie apocalypse happens"...because I think it will in some form.  With all of the conspiracy theories out there, the power that the government has, and the powers that other countries have...there will be some sort of chemical warfare that will happen that will end up zombiefying us somehow.

It will happen.  We are a race that likes to destroy each other.  It is a fact.  Either by war, bullying, making crap food easier so that we all become obese...yeah, we are destroying ourselves.

Anyhow, back to Zombies.

I was in LOVE with AMC's The Walking Dead.  I didn't even care that it didn't follow the comic 100% (I am not even sure if follows the comic 50%).  I say was because man that second season just went on and on...and it was a total let down since Sophia was a zombie in the barn and I wasn't expecting that since that doesn't happen in the comic and surely after dragging out a whole season looking for her they should have found her non-zombie. SIGH.  Anyhow, these are some pics from SD Comic-Con 2011.  Yes, I did stand in line to be handcuffed to the pipe with Merle.   I almost forgot about him.  Do you think they will bring him back?  I would love to see him all pissed off and return but then that would screw up Daryl's character.  He has turned from being an ass to being the best character.  Oh, even better about the picture, I am wearing my zombie scarecrow shirt from 6dollarshirts.com

So enough about Walking Dead.  I thought I would mention a few upcoming zombie movies that I hope will be awesome...

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - I am halfway through this book and the movie is still in development so I have time.  It was my "travel book" last year and I read it on trains, planes and automobiles..but unfortunately I was distracted easily (I have a toddler) and didn't finish.  Just imagine those Bennet girls being trained for zombie combat...and Mr. Darcy...swoon

World War Z - I need to read this book before the movie comes out.  According to IMDB, this is slated for 2013 so I have time (might read this one before finishing P&P&Z).  It also lists Brad Pitt and Matthew Fox as being in the movie.  Yay!

And now mention of some of my faves...

Night of the Living Dead - the 1968 George Romero one.  The one with the famous line "They're coming to get you Barbara..."   This is the first zombie movie I had ever seen - or at least the first one that I was aware I was seeing and knowing it was a zombie movie.  I seen it on cable in the 80's one summer staying at my Grandparent's house.  My world would never be the same.


Shaun of the Dead - My mostest favoritest one and favorite in the comical category.  I may have bring that with me to watch on my little road trip! I just love everything about it.  If you haven't seen it you are really missing out.  I am going to "have red on me" since I just ordered the Shaun uniform shirt from Think Geek recently!  Incidentally these zombie nesting dolls also made it into the cart.  Had to, they were 50% off!


Fido - My favorite for the alternate universe category (yes, I am making up categories). This movie is set in the 50's. Think of it as zombie meets Lassie.  Oh, and it is not just silly either - there is scandal as the misses falls in love with their pet zombie as he pays more attention to her than her husband.  How could he not know she was pregnant?


28 Days Later - favorite in the "this feels like it is really happening" category. Imagine waking up in a hospital and the world as you knew it was gone.  Zombies everywhere - oh yeah Walking Dead did you borrow this tidbit?  The movie was released in 2002 and the comic in 2003...hmmm...


Zombieland - favorite for learning helpful rules...cardio, double tap, beware of bathrooms, wear a seat belt, etc. I don't think all of the rules will work, but there are several to take note of.


Poultrygeist - Night of the Chicken Dead - favorite for the terrible movie category. (there will be future blogs regarding terrible movies as I am somewhat addicted).  This is one of the worst movies I have seen and yet it somehow received 6.2 out of 10 rating on IMDB.  I am not sure how.  It is pretty bad.  A military themed chicken restaurant is built on an Indian burial ground...that alone should make you groan.  But there is also singing and dancing as well as bad special effects.

Dawn of the Dead - favorite for learning that a Mall is not the best place to go when this happens--because there will be mall cops that think that now is the time to show they have authority.  I am not going to lie, the best part of this is the moment in the zombie chaos where "Down with the Sickness" by Richard Cheese starts up.  His lounge style is so appropriate.

There are a bazillion zombie movies out there and I have seen many more than I have listed above and If I listed them all, this blog would be a mile long.  Before I end the post, I feel I must mention the Resident Evil movie franchise.  While the movies are not that great, the games are awesome.

Also I have found this list of zombie movies.  It has a lot of titles and I know many have to be just terrible but yet I want to see them....like "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood" --I totally found that on the list and added to my Blockbuster queue.  For reals I did.  I mentioned in the Poultrygeist blurb that I have an addiction to terrible movies.  I think I might do a weekly posting on the terrible movies.  I am watching them anyway...